I’ve thought a lot about this and over the years have asked others their opinions on what modesty is. The answers surprised me when I was younger but I now respect the answers that were given. I am a single twenty something that just wants to be the best version of myself that I can be. To me, that means respecting myself and doing things for me that better me and that in later years won’t be saying I wish I hadn’t. Modesty is a big issue that leaves holes in the theory. Everyone’s version of modesty is different. Modesty by Webster’s definition is propriety in dress, speech, or conduct (second definition). Propriety means the state or quality of conforming to conventionally accepted standards of behavior or morals. Synonyms to modesty are humility, humbleness, meekness, lowliness, demureness, down-to-earthness.
I asked a friend a long time ago what he thought of a certain girl’s outfit. She was wearing super short shorts and a shirt way too small for her. He thought it was repulsive. He said it doesn’t do anything for him and that he’d rather have a girlfriend that dressed her size than the size she wants to be. It surprised me that he had put that much thought into his future seeing as we were in high school.Guys are very visual people and what women wear constitutes what men will think of us.
Society today is very hard on women with what they should look like and what they should wear. I grew up in a christian home, went to a christian school, and went to church every time the doors were open. I was taught modesty and respect. Most girls growing up today are not taught one of the most important things in life and that is to respect themselves. When we respect ourselves our dumb choices are less, I’ve noticed. When women respect themselves and cover up, they are also protecting themselves. They are not saying. “Look at me.” They are saying I respect and love myself enough to cover up. Now, I am not saying long skirts and turtlenecks because believe you me I have worn enough of those in my day. There are amazingly cute outfits out there though that are modest and inexpensive. Right choices can be hard to make because of society and peer pressure. I understand that but that doesn’t mean we have to give in to it.
I am a bigger woman and I am very particular about what I wear. If it isn’t covering it up, I won’t wear it. We, as women, have to understand men are turned on by what they see. They see the looks before anything else. I would really just like to go to wearing dresses, and full length swimsuits. Our standards of ourselves have sunk so low. The standards we are setting for the generations coming up shouldn’t be nearly as low as they are.
Moms, think about your children. If you have a daughter, would you want her wearing booty shorts and shirts that show her stomach? Would you want your son to date a girl that wasn’t afraid to show all? More than likely if she isn’t afraid to show it, she won’t be afraid to give it. Most girls dress trashy to gain attention-they don’t realize the only attention they’re going to get is attention they more than likely don’t want.
The generation being raised now is sickening. I am so thankful for my parents and the generation I was born in. The clothes being made for little girls is trashy and disrespectful. The women who are clearly not teens trying to dress like teens breaks my heart. We need to embrace our age, our size, and ourselves. It doesn’t matter what age or what size we are, we can all look our best in clothes that fit our size and our budget.
I used to wear sweats all the time (my sister can verify) because I was so embarrassed by my weight and size. I am not skinny by any means but that doesn’t mean I have to wear sweats all the time or try to fit into clothes waaay too small just so I can tell people I wear a small instead of a large. I am learning everyday the right style and fit for me. I am also very short so I have to take that into account in all that I buy. I am now wearing nice clothes practically everyday even when I am not working.
I’ve also learned that by getting up and getting ready I want to be in clothes that flatter me instead of clothes that make me look like I have no shape at all.
Women- I implore you to teach the younger generation to respect themselves. Teach them to care for themselves and to love themselves. To know how to be a true lady and to want to be a Woman of Virtue. Be a woman of virtue so that younger women will follow in your footsteps.
Men- I urge you to teach your daughters or any young woman in your life how guys should treat them. Tell them to guard their hearts and to not just give their virginity away like it’s nothing. Be the kind of man that, if needed, they can come talk to you.
I am truly thankful for those parents out there that are teaching their children to respect themselves and others. They are amazing and it shows that you truly love and respect your children enough to teach them and to actually be their parents.